By Rebecca Holt
By Rebecca Holt
This month at Green Shoe we have focused on the power of practicing authenticity in our lives as well in our relationships. Finding your authentic self is one thing but sharing authenticity with others can be a challenge. We may connect with our own emotions, thoughts and understand our behaviors in our authentic self, however, expressing our truth with others may bring up old wounds.
Growing up in an unhealthy family shuts down authenticity. We may heard the message to make others comfortable around us by only expressing joy or taking responsibility for their needs. It may have been modeled through our caregivers that it is not safe to be authentic in relationships. We create walls to hide what we are feeling and thinking. I often ask individuals, “What happened if you expressed your thoughts and feelings as a child?”. As you reflect on the answer, think about how similar patterns may show up in your life today. What are the emotions that you notice? Fear? Pain? Shame? You may even notice some shift in your boundaries. As a child, trying to get the attention of adults may have meant having no boundaries and for some it may have meant learning to ignore our feelings or thoughts completely.
No matter what relationship you are in, romantic partner, coworkers or even friends, healthy communication is essential. Even healthier is authentic communication. This is one way we can work to not lose ourselves in a relationship. It is my responsibility to express what I need, how I feel or even ask for help. If I assume those around me with figure it out, I may push people away and hide who I am. I encourage you to continue loving your authentic self and learn to safely embrace who you are with those around you. It will only deepen the healthy relationships in your life.